"OMNIBUS MOTION"
is sometimes known as the Ominous Motion because it is the really big motion at the beginning of the meeting offered by the Stated Clerk (see below). It contains lots and lots and lots of little motions to be voted upon all at once. Theoretically, this saves lots and lots and lots of time. (Rumor has it that the main reason for the Omnibus Motion is that the Stated Clerk would fall asleep if he had to read every one of the little motions.)

In any case, all the really important business-like-stuff is included in the Omnibus Motion at the beginning of the meeting. Hint: Be sure to read carefully all the printed material in the packet mailed to you the week before the meeting. After the dull motions are voted upon, you can relax and settle in for the fun part of the meeting which the agenda planners call "Major Presentations." This is when informational and inspiring reports are given by enthusiastic (spirit filled) committee members. These reports make you feel great about being a Presbyterian! Or they make you glad your not on THAT committee.

"I OBJECT TO ONE OF THESE HERE HALF-BAKED MOTIONS!"
If you want to postpone the fun stuff in order to talk about one of the myriad motions in the Omnibus Motion, all that's needed is to get recognized by the Moderator (see above) and ask for the motion you want to discuss/condemn/ask questions about to be placed in the Discussion And Decision Agenda (see below).

"DISCUSSION AND DECISION"
refers to that part of the agenda where individual motions are considered one at a time. If you objected to a half-baked motion (see above) in the Omnibus Motion (see above), then the Discussion And Decision Agenda is when you get a chance to express thyself.

"STATED CLERK"
is the Presbytery Officer who is the only one who knows what is going on during the entire meeting. He sits at a table near the Moderator and whispers in her ear when he thinks the Moderator has made (or is about to make) a mistake. Since he is a very snappy dresser, he is sometimes referred to as the "Stately Clerk."

"I MOVE A SUBSTITUTE MOTION FOR THE AMENDMENT OF THE MAIN MOTION TO THE RECONSIDERED MOTION -- WHEW!"
Sometimes the fun of parliamentary procedure gets so intense that some members (usually ministers who always secretly wanted to be lawyers) make motions, amendments to motions, and substitutes to tabled motions, etc. If you get confused as to what in the world is going on, it's time to call a Point of Order (see below).

"POINT OF ORDER"
is what you say to get the attention of the Moderator if you think the wheels have come off the parliamentary train, or if you are so confused that you have no idea what's up. The neat thing about a Point of Order is that the Moderator is required to recognize you (even if you are nasty and yell "Point of Order!" at the top of your voice.) But if you use the "Point of Order" to get recognized by the Moderator in order to debate a motion instead of asking a procedural question, you will be called "Out of Order" (see below) by the Moderator, and you will have to sit down and shut up even if you haven't finished making your point.

"OUT OF ORDER"
means that you have broken a Parliamentary Law (see below) and/or it means you won't get your money back from the vending machine in the church basement.

"PARLIAMENTARY LAW"
is like an Old Testament commandment: everyone knows you ought to follow it, but if you are clever, you can find a way around it.

"PREVIOUS QUESTION"
is how you can get the long-winded members of Presbytery (usually ministers from large churches) to shut up and sit down. If you get recognized by the Moderator (see above), and if you Move The Previous Question, then the motion on the floor at the time must come to an immediate vote -- no more discussion! The neat thing about the Motion For The Previous Question is that it is non-debatable!

"DIVISION OF THE HOUSE"

does not mean that the host church will be divided in two by bulldozers waiting in the parking lot. (If this were true, Presbytery could never get a church to offer its building for a meeting.)

Instead, when a vote is called, and the AYEs yell as loud as the NAYs, or if the Moderator thinks the AYEs have it, but you think the NAYs have it, (or if you are just tired and need to stretch), you can call for a Division Of The House, which means that the AYEs and NAYs will be counted.

First, the members are asked to vote by raising a hand (raising two hands is frowned upon). The Moderator then eyeballs the room to see if a majority can be determined visually. If the vote is still too close to call by the eyeball approach, then the Commissioners are asked to stand and be counted. This enables a number of good things: it gives the Stated Clerk a chance to practice counting, and it gives everyone whose foot has fallen asleep a chance to try to stand up (this can be very amusing to watch).

"BRIEF REPORTS"
are limited to five minutes each. A trap door will open up under the speaker if the five-minute rule is broken. This is also when commercials about Presbytery activities are given and serious speakers tell about missions, budgets and policies.

"MOTION TO ADJOURN"
is always in order (no kidding). If boredom nears the terminal stage or if you get a direct message from God that enough is enough, then you can Move To Adjourn. If a committee hasn't yet given its report, they may get mad and threaten bodily harm, but since this motion is another one of those "non-debatable" motions, you're safe.

This guide to Murphy's Rules of Order was prepared with sincere apologies to Robert's Rules and parliamentarians everywhere. It was written by Gerry Tyer, Executive Presbyter of the Presbytery of Tampa Bay.